Blogging about blogs

The word blog is funny. It sounds like a word to describe either a.) a really wet fart, b.) a BJ from a really slutty chick who actually turns out to be an alien (from outer space, not an impoverished 3^rd world country), c.) a verb to describe an obese person sitting on a midget.

Regardless, blogs are fun. I want to mention two blogs I would recommend reading. Please finish reading both blogs by next Wednesday, at which time I will be giving you a handout on paper (8-10 pages) topics for aforementioned blogs.

“Btw” quick sidenote: Why do professors say “8-10 pages.” Why don’t they just say “7 pages with 2 lines on the 8^th page?”

Anyway, the first blog comes from my writer friend Heather. She absolutely blows me away with her diction. The way she captures growing up on Long Island, or any suburban area for that matter, is uncanny. I drink her words greedily like I do coffee. Except, after I drink coffee, I don’t feel guilty as if I just fooled around with some slut (who’s been in love with me since like sophomore year, though, I don’t give a shit. Whateva) in the backseat of my dad’s car, then dropped the slut off to meet my friend at the diner to tell him all the lustful details. THAT’S how good her writing is. It makes you want to shower and think of an alibi for your parents. She’s blogging her first novel (and tricking people pretending she’s actually the characters, so don’t be fooled). Here’s her blog:

http://promiscuities.blogspot.com/

The second blog is interesting. I have to preface by explaining how I know the blog author.

Back in high school I had an acquaintance, very nondescript, with this dude everyone called “Parker.” Overall, he didn’t strike me as much different than me: sideburns, actually enjoyed English class, romanticized his crushes with elaborate ploys as if each attempt was the final scene of a bad teen movie. (What I referred to in my own experiences as my Wile E. Coyote stunts.) Through college his screen name remained on my buddy list as one of those “away message check only” buddies. Sometimes, when I was particularly bored, I’d scroll down and read profiles, hence where I learned of his Livejournal. I have to say, I was pretty impressed.

Like something I try (and usually fail) to capture in my serious fiction, Parker has this way of throwing himself into his sentences. The kid holds nothing back. Literally what you’re reading is what he’s thinking. He doesn’t cheat you or hide. Anything. Sometimes I feel he can get a little carried away, being overly hard on himself, lamenting constantly that he’s a “loser” or “he’s looking for the one.” On the one hand, I want to pat him on the back, and be like, “Dude, I don’t remember you being such a loser” but, on the other hand, I think it’s when he’s lamenting that he writes most lucidly. Also, to use a “critical” term, his diction, in its absolute bare-bone simplicity, counterpoints his basic conceits and quests.

In any case, I want to get your impressions on his Myspace blog. What I recommend reading for: whenever he’s looking for a girl or at a bar. When at the bar, I feel as if I’m sitting on the stool next to him, silently cheering him on. However, whenever he talks about music (he refers to it as “the scene”) or wrestling, I find myself saying, “Dude, lets go back to the bar.” Here’s the address:

http://www.myspace.com/parkerman