The 'holler' back

It’s over. The seminar paper that almost ruined my life has been handed in. It was as if my life was a Nintendo game (say, for argument’s sake, Super Mario Bros. 1), and, as I was about to jump on the axe to save the Princess, someone hit pause and told me, midjump, to write a 15 page research paper on sonnets (in MLA format). Sorry Mario but heterosexuality is in another castle (because that paper was mad Brokeback).

Anyway, now that my life is back to normal, I’ll try to get some more memoir pieces on here. First though, I want to respond to the comments I got over the past few days:

“i dont really like to read, but im actually "lol" as i read this, mind if i put yur link on some stuff?....um well im gunna wether or not its ok.” From Livi

Livi-

Linking my blog is totally cool with me. In fact, I don’t even care if you steal my jokes, and, if you do, you don’t even have to cite me (but, if you insist, make sure it’s MLA style).

“Holy Crap I think you are my new favorite writer not that I had one before except maybe Maddox that guy is awesome you know what your the next Maddox well Maddox2 because he is still here” From Man with the Double-Hawk

Man with the Double-

First, I want to commend you on a great use of ‘Holy Crap’. The last time I heard a sweet, euphemistic term like that, I think was when I was in third grade and prohibited from using the S curse. You know what…fuck the S curse. Anyway, thanks for calling me Maddox2. I’m a big fan of his writing, and, for a while, I think I tried to mimic his disgruntled tone. (See my diatribe on babies below.)

“Hilarious...dude I wish I could write with the same insight and sparkling wordplay that I bet your stools are composed of.” From Josh

Josh-

Thanks man. My stools actually stink like the S curse. But I appreciate the comment.

“your an absolute idiot. its a shame only because you have the literacy skills and audacity to convince a league of online geeks otherwise. good luck in your search for further stupidity.” From peel101

Peel101-

Obviously you convinced me of my idiocy with your incisive opening statement: ‘your an absolute idiot.’ Dude, it’s YOU’RE as in YOU ARE, not the second person personal possessive. Learn how to use a fucking contraction before you criticize someone on their ‘stupidity’. It’s a good thing the rest of your erudite dissertation sparkles with wit. Thanks for commending me on my ‘literacy skills’. I most certainly am literate! Enough so that I know the difference between a contraction and personal possessive (still can’t get over that). Hopefully my search for future stupidity will turn up some great results. Thanks for the comment Bonerbiter.

And finally:

“Dude, your article on small liberal arts colleges is awesomely true. This one kid has the nickname "Ben the Brontosaurus," because he has a big nose... not to be confused with that bastard down the hall, "Jimmy the Jew." You have taken a place in my heart as my favorite CH writer, congrats!” From Tyler

First, tell Jimmy the Jew I said what’s up but I’m still pissed about not being invited to his Bar Mitzvah...

Secondly, I wanted to use this post to go into detail about my small liberal arts college article. Now while I’m sure you probably don’t care about my creative process in coming up with articles, that article has a story with hilarious consequences. Augmenting the hilarity, I’ll preface that story saying that exactly one year ago from today, the circumstances leading up to that article were (for me) extremely NOT FUNNY; in fact, I was as miserable as a severed limb.

Tomorrow I’ll write that story, which will end with the other story I promised on pudding wrestling. Very classy combo.